WHY FK THE STIGMA EXISTS
lee’s story
WHY FK THE STIGMA EXISTS
lee’s story
Content note: This story discusses mental ill-health, suicidal thoughts and an attempted suicide
People often ask me why I started FK the Stigma.
The answer isn’t found in a business plan.
It’s found in one of the darkest moments of my life.
The day everything changed
Back in 2019, I was at work when I sent my wife what I thought was just another ordinary message.
“Good morning baby, hope you have an amazing day. I love you.”
Her reply changed my life forever.
“We need to talk when you get home.”
When I got home, she told me our marriage was over. Just like that, after 16 years together and 10 years of marriage, everything I’d built my life around disappeared. We were halfway through building our dream home. Within weeks, she had moved on, taking our daughters with her.
I was completely lost.
The road
The divorce, the loneliness, and not seeing my girls every day slowly destroyed my mental health. Six months later, I got in my car and went for a drive. I found myself on a long country road doing around 140–150 km/h. There was a tree coming up around the next bend. I remember thinking…
“That’s it. That tree has my name written all over it.”
For the first time in months, I smiled. I genuinely believed all the pain was about to end. As the tree got closer, I tightened my grip on the steering wheel
Then something happened, all I could see were my daughters.
I slammed on the brakes.
The car skidded to a stop just metres from the tree. I dropped my head, screamed, and punched the steering wheel until I had nothing left.
That day changed my life.
Not long afterwards, I attended the funeral of a mate who had taken his own life. Someone said something I’ll never forget.
“Your pain has now ended… and ours has just started.”
Those words have stayed with me ever since. If you’re reading this and you’re in that dark place, please remember this:
Don’t make a permanent decision because of a temporary feeling
Why FK the Stigma exists
Years later, my dad asked me a simple question:
“What’s FK the Stigma really about?”
The answer wasn’t clothing. It wasn’t logos. It wasn’t social media.
It’s about making sure no one feels as alone as I did.
I remember posting on Facebook one day that I was struggling mentally and emotionally. I didn’t even know why. I spent the whole day hoping someone would check in. Apart from my wife, Jen, no one did.
That hurt.
It also made me realise something. If I couldn’t even tell the people closest to me how I was really feeling, how many other men were doing exactly the same thing?
That’s why FK the Stigma exists.
It’s about giving people permission to speak.
It’s about mates checking on mates.
It’s about creating conversations before they become funerals.
The people beside me
I’m incredibly lucky to have my wife, Jen. She has stood beside me through every dark day without judgement, without ridicule, and with nothing but love and support. Along with my children – Bella, Sophia, Livi and Atley – they are the reason I’m still here.
One night, despite every part of me wanting to go home, I forced myself to go to football training. I walked in pretending everything was okay. Just being around the boys changed everything. The laughter. The conversations. The feeling that I belonged. That night reminded me that sometimes we don’t need someone to fix us.
Sometimes we just need someone beside us.
That’s exactly what FK the Stigma is.
A community.
A conversation.
A reminder that no one has to fight their battles alone.
If wearing one of our hoodies starts one conversation…
If one mate checks in on another…
If one person chooses to stay because they saw our message…
Then everything we’ve built has been worth it.
Because it ain’t weak to speak.
You don’t have to do it alone
If you’re struggling right now, please reach out to a mate, a family member or a mental health professional. Asking for help isn’t weakness. It could be the bravest thing you ever do
Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week